Schindler's List

John Lennon: Acoustic

I recently acquired the John Lennon cd Acoustic from my gal of groove with the moves to prove. The good news is that she thought enough of me to bestow uponst my goodness a gift of love. The bad news is that the Lennon trough of unreleased goodies has been depleted and we're now left with unfinished demos of varying quality.

Highlights include Working Class Hero, Love, Dear Yoko, and Real Love. The lowlights would be the political tunes John Sinclair and Luck of the Irish. The latter being almost unbearable to the tympanic membrane when the Ocean Child flexes her larynx and lets forth with guttural groans that sound like the tortured cries of a malnourished hyena with a nasty wildebeast wound around the sacral area. Really... Who could make this stuff up?

Another plus is the included chord chart and tablature for the songs. I've been plucking away at Real Love for a couple of days now and I rock. Yes I do...

Death of a Salesman

Bad news for guilty criminals everywhere, Johnnie Cochran, who could get a crotchless man off, has died of a brain tumor. The corpus delecti became famous during the Hertz Rent-a-Car spokesman trial when he gave a whole new meaning to the term 'bad rap' with this ditty, "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

Asked for a comment OJ Simpson said, "You got Robert Blake's attorney's number?"