Realistically Speaking

I've hesitated divulging more personal matters for all one of you to see but last night my girlfriend unsettled my thinking in regards to our relationship.

First, a brief history:

• Long distance affair

• Both are divorced

• Have been dating for 16 months

• Had dated prior to this for 4 years

We talk everyday at least twice. We were doing the chit-chat last night and she revealed that she is realistic about things. A fairly inocuous statement until you pair it with the relationship.

"I'm a realist and I understand bad things happen and that this relationship may or may not work out." she says.

So I'm going to pick up my life and move it one thousand miles based on the prospect of "this relationship may or may not work out?"

She went as far as stating that the vows we take should not include "'til death do you part." I can't imagine with what she wants to substitute that section.

"Do you promise to love, honor and obey, in sickness and in health, 'til the mood strikes you otherwise?"

I'm for being realistic and I do understand things happen, but to set the love bar so low and not demand of the relationship that it works 'til our bodies lie rotting in the ground is a self fulfilling omen of disaster. Preparing for the worst and hoping for the best as far as commital to another person is dooming the union before the union has become unionized!

I was really befuddled last night as to what to say. Thinking of it rationally, yes, anything can happen, good or bad. Thinking of it emotionally, I'm in the "Yeah, baby, it's a love thing and ain't nothin' gonna derail Amoretrak."

So back to the looming question of do I chuck it all on a relationship that in her mind may or may not work? All I'm looking for is, "This will work and we'll be happy everafter," even if it doesn't. It doesn't have to, just go into it thinking that it will.

Bah, this could be the deal breaker. I'll talk to her later today and hopefully I can muster up a coherent thought and it will pass through my lips unencumbered as a succinct and cogent phrase fully explaining my point of perspective.

But I'm a realist....That ain't gonna happen.